Black and Blue and tired all over

This has been a long week. Monday, I took Bogart for his second round of shots at the vet, and by the time I got back, I was exhausted. He was just about the best behaved cat I've ever taken to the vet, never hissing or spitting, and not even flinching when the vet gave him the injections and that stuff that went up his little nose. He didn't even cry that much on the ride home. Good boy, Bogey.

Monday night, I went to bed early (before midnight)because I had to be up early to catch the DAV van to the Memphis VA. I twitched. I tossed. I rearranged the cats on the bed. I was miserably hot, and my back and legs hurt. The air conditioning was on its normal 72 degrees. I heard one of the cats throw up in the other room. I checked my watch. It was three AM. I got up to go to the bathroom, then rearranged the cats again. I have no idea how much sleep I really got, because it seemed very shortly after that the timer went off in the kitchen and I was off to the shower.

The visit on Tuesday was back to the neurologist. I was wondering who I might get on the luck of the draw because my former doctor left the system for his new practice. Turns out that I am pleasantly surprised to have a female resident this time, a tall slender young woman who seems not only to know her business, but have compassion as well. I didn't feel like just another number on the board, and she was very thorough in her exam and follow-up. She told me that the recent MRI shows some problems that are starting to show in my neck, and some additional problems in the L-5 and S-1 region. She listened to what I had to say about my pain problems, and actually got me something stronger than an aspirin to alleviate some of it. She got me a consult with the neurosurgery department, and hopefully they might have something they can do for me. No promises, but at least some action. I am grateful.

Tuesday night, I was worn out from the day on the road, even though I didn't have to drive. I went to bed early again, because Wednesday I had to drive myself to a hematology appointment. I had a better bit of sleep, most due to the new meds I got.

Wednesday morning, I hit the road around 6:15 and stopped at Hardee's for a biscuit and some coffee to make sure I stayed awake. I have no intention of rolling another car through the cotton fields on my way to the VA. I made good time, finding a decent parking place by the Women's Clinic entrance, and checked in. First stop was the lab, where I thought they would never quit changing those little tubes out.

Orange juice sounded like a good idea, so I headed up to the cafeteria since it was just past 8AM and my appointment upstairs was 9:40. I killed a little time in the canteen, buying a cool weatherband radio that you can crank if the power fails, then went on up to the fourth floor clinic and turned in my paperwork.

I watched the end of the Today show on the tv in the waiting area. Then the local Memphis morning show, and watched the other patients come and go. My name was not called. The Price is Right, which I totally detest, came on. It was now 11AM. I went back to the window and asked the person there just how far down the line was I, anyway? Oh, seems he had shelved my paper in the wrong spot. Wonder if the doctor might have left had I not said something? Was he apologetic? Hardly.

Dr. S is my hematologist. She is nice enough, but a bit cold. I spoke with her for maybe five minutes tops, including a very quick listen to my heart and lungs. She told me that my iron levels are down again, and that she wanted me to come in once a week for the iron infusions for the next four weeks, then every other week after that. No end time in sight for the moment. She also said she will be absent during August, so my next appointment with her will be mid September. Hooray.

She dismissed me to go back to the chemo room where I took my place on one of the recliners. The young man next to me, who had already lost his hair and most of his eyebrows to the chemotherapy, was very pleasant for someone in his state. He didn't appear to be much more than early twenties at the most, probably back from a tour in Iraq. I didn't ask, and he didn't say.

Another woman was curled up facing the wall at the far end of the room. I found out later that she was a former oncology nurse, and was now on the receiving end of the treatment. My situation doesn't seem near so bad to me when I meet these others in the chemo room.

That was little compensation, however, because I have become increasingly hard to stick for the IV treatments. Usually it takes a couple or three tries. Wednesday, no one seemed to get lucky. I have small, crooked veins, and they tend to disappear just as the nurse goes to insert the needle. I feel like I am fairly tough, but when it comes to someone digging around trying to find a vein that has moved, I can't help myself. I whinged about it hurting. Seven or more tries, and three nurses later, success! I got my treatment, and it was decided that I need to have a portacath put in to avoid these problems. That means another trip up the road next week just to have that done in the ambulatory surgery clinic, then once more to have the iron treatment. It can't be done the same day.

I really felt sorry for the nurses there. They all tried their best, and my veins just were not cooperating. They apologized to me for the hurt, and I apologized back for the inconvenience. They really are a caring bunch in there.

It was past 4PM when I got home. I was exhausted once again, and felt like crap. I feel so damned useless right now. Every little thing wears me out, and I have no stamina whatsoever. It sucks, and I know it frustrates the hell out of Dan. Sure frustrates the hell out of me.

So, Thursday, I slept. Dreaming some outrageously stupid dreams, one about going to a costume party wearing a Hello Kitty costume (never!), and one about being in the wrong place when another company was having a drill for fire control (yes, another "back in the Navy" dream). I was trying to get out of the way and back to my own company, but the smoke began to fill the room. I woke up, glad to find there wasn't any real smoke choking me. Just a bed filled with cats. ; )

I'm useless these days. What can I say?