Downer Diva part deux

I said I'd put an update after the MRI, so here's what I know so far.

Nothing.

I got up Friday at an appropriately early time to drive myself to Memphis to get the MRI at a facility that has an open MRI machine. I tend to be claustrophobic in regular MRI machines, probably because the first one I had, the techs wrapped me up in a constraint like a big burrito, and I had an extreme hotflash during the procedure. I had to squeeze the little bulb and have them get me out of there. They administered some sedative, and I snored through the rest of the procedure. Subsequent MRIs have been nightmarish, too, because once the fan was not working inside the machine and I got extremely hot. Beam me up, Scotty.

That's why I had to drive to the far side of Memphis for this test. I arrived fifteen minutes before my appointment, because the traffic was a bitch on Friday, and the directions to the office were not exactly right. There is no sign on the front of the building to indicate where this office might be, and I parked in the wrong lot the first time, and had to go back and move my car over to the next building. Not great for my mood in 94 degree morning heat.

The office was very plain, and the patient ahead of me was having difficulty understanding what he was supposed to do before he had whatever test it was. Something about a preparation he had to drink, and he was wanting to know if he could drink it with a Coke, because it tastes bad. The technician was trying to explain it to him why that wouldn't work, and he was becoming more agitated the more they talked. Finally, they got him sorted and sent him on his way, and called me to the desk to fill out the obligatory paperwork.

Don't you love doing that? I should carry a list of the medication I am taking. Seems like I'm asked that information at the drop of a hat. This paperwork even had a little MAN drawing fore and aft for me to point out "where does it hurt". (Where's my WOMAN drawing? What if it hurts in a spot men don't have?) After telling them my life by a series of yes or no questions, and the occasional "additional information", I signed beside all the huge X's and returned the clipboard (and the pen!) to the desk person.

I didn't have to wait long after that. The young girl sitting next to me was playing her Nintendo DS, waiting apparently for her grandmother to have her test done. Just as I reached in to get my book to read, the technician called me back to the testing area. She told me to strip and take off my watch, so the machine wouldn't ruin the batteries. (I didn't bother to tell her my watch is self-winding, so it has no batteries. I love this watch!) She asked me if I had brought something to change into. I said no, and wondered just what people brought to change into? She handed me a gown that actually had ties on it, and was big enough to wrap around me. (The VA always has you put on two gowns, one frontwards and one backwards, so your ass doesn't hang out. They are the skimpiest damn things I've ever seen.) She told me to lock my clothes and valuables in the locker, and bring the key with me. I chose #5, because I seem to have decent luck with that number. Whatever.

She directed me to the restroom first, and I complied. Then for the test. She asked me if I had taken any sedatives, and I said no. The machine was different from the last open MRI I had, but still very open compared to the VA machines, meaning you could see out the back side, and most of your person was not inside a tube. It more resembled a CT scan machine. I was relieved at that.




The bad part came when they told me that the orders were not only for a lower back scan, but for a scan of my neck. That meant they had to put this cage thing on my head. She asked if I was claustrophobic. I said, yes, somewhat. She advised me to keep my eyes shut. I should have asked for a blindfold. It's really hard to keep your eyes tightly shut for twenty or so minutes, but I did manage.

They rolled me out after the first test was complete, and had to shoot some dye into me because I have had previous back surgery. I had bruising from the last time I had an iron infusion, and from the big jab of the phlebotomist who can hit a vein where no one else can find one. They remarked about the bruising, and I wondered if they believed my explanation. They jabbed me near the same spot, and squirted in the dye. I tried to imagine good drugs, to no avail.

The next series took a little longer. MRIs are so noisy! I always feel like I'm in a barrel with someone pounding a sledge hammer on the outside. I went to my "relaxing place", which is the beach on Tokashiki Island. I visualized the blue waters, the fine sand mixed with coral, the lush tropical vegetation along the ridge above the shore. The cool water on my feet, and the gentle lapping of the water on the shore of the inlet. That took me away enough to keep me busy during the test.

As soon as I was done, I asked about the results. The technician told me the doctor would get the results, but they had to have a courier take the disk over to the VA. They would not release it to me. I got dressed and headed over to the VA hospital where I was supposed to talk to the doctor about the results.

No one seemed to know anything about my appointment with the neurologist. I was shuffled from pillar to post because no one could figure out what to do with me. I was becoming increasingly flustered. About that time, the doctor I was looking for happened to come out of a room down the hall and saw me sitting there. He told me he would see me next. Just then, one of the nurses came up to me with my appointment paper and told me I'd have to come on Tuesday next, because that was the appointment on the books. It was delightful to have the doctor tell her we had it all straightened out, and he would see me next.

Dr. M is, by my estimation of his accent, from the Czech Republic or somewhere in that region. I have never asked him, because it makes no difference to me. He is a thoughtful man, and very patient. He asked me how my new medications, prescribed to me two weeks ago, were doing. I told him I had only received them the day before, so I had no idea. He shook his head, and said that there should be no reason for things to take that long to be mailed out. I agree wholeheartedly. He went out to see if the reports were back, and was gone about five minutes. No, he said, they were not in. He apologised, even though it was well beyond his control. There was little he could tell me until he reads the MRI.

It was a good thing I have that appointment on the books for next Tuesday, because I can ride the DAV van over instead of driving myself. Parking is horrendous at the VA. I even have a gimp tag, and I can't find a place to park, because nearly everyone there has one, too. It's one place where I will use the far parking lot and wait for the little golf cart to come around to pick me up, rather than park in the reserved spots. The lot is so large that I am exhausted by the time I walk into the building, and my heart rate is out the ceiling, along with my blood pressure.

If you have read this far to find out what I know about the results, you still know as much as I do. Such a long post for such little reward. Ho hum. I hope to have a more informative post soon.

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Meanwhile, the new kitten, Bogart, is doing wonderfully. We call him Bogey, of course. He is still not allowed full run of the house, but we let him out during the day when we are able to supervise him to an extent. He follows us like a puppy, and loves to spend time curled up on Dan's chest when he's watching tv. Too sweet for words.

The other cats are getting acquainted. A little hissing at times, but usually that occurs when I put kitten chow in Bogey's bowl in the bathroom, and someone else comes in to munch. Bogey puts on a little hissy show, and they back off. Nothing like seeing a 2.5 pound kitten bluff a 15 lb tomcat. Gotta love it.